Episode 3 – “The Dinner Party”
Miranda still has her boyfriend Mike thanks to Operation Maintain Dignity (and mother Penny, pushing home baked goods through the kitchen window whilst Mike’s not looking). Is this the beginnning of a new sophisticated Miranda, who now owns a pashmina?!
Probably not – as a game of swing muffin with Stevie next to a kitchen counter full of Fruit friends and all new Vegetapals would suggest.
Miranda offers to babysit Chris and Allison’s baby when Gary lets them down and they agree… as they’re desperate. With a music session booked at the soft play centre, Miranda heads there, commando under her elasticated culottes (washing machine’s broken) and does her back in when she gets a little carried away in the play area. A trip to the Osteopath forces her to fashion a nappy out of the couch paper not doing much to improve her ‘mature day out’.
When Mike calls round to say his Dad wants to meet Miranda, she takes up Stevie’s new “It’s time to grow up and do without Mummy” challenge and invites Mike and his Dad round to dinner that evening – which she will cook, all by herself. But with Mike admitting his Dad is very fussy and has ‘culled’ previous girlfriends, Miranda is left wondering whether it was the right time to offer. After confirming whether crockery is plates or cutlery she dismisses Penny.
Later in the kitchen she welcomes Alfalfa – who is not a llama and begins, after all – it can’t be that hard. A long afternoon is spent confusing tsp with tbsp and skiffling for some carrots, until she has produced a mushy salmon terrine starter and crepe Suzette a la ceiling, then hurries to M&S.
After being told on no uncertain terms that it is a couples only dinner party, Stevie arrives with Norman the traffic warden, who she insists she’s seeing. Soon after Mike arrives with his Dad (and Osteopath) Valerie, sending nervous Miranda into titters “Yeah, good one call me Derek! What’s your mum called – Dave?”. Valerie however, seems undeterred, continuing on with jokes that no-one else gets, until an annoyed Penny asks if he could ‘do the laughs while he’s making the joke?’. As they always do, Miranda says grace, beginning with a bit o’ Abba and ending with Bread of Heaven. Trying to dissipate the tense atmosphere, Stevie suggests that Penny tell them about the work she’s having done, but this backfires when Valerie mentions her crowsfeet. Riled up by the man with a dead badger on his head, Penny reveals in front of both Rose and Mike that Miranda’s had ‘a thing for Gary for years’. Forced to admit that they dated, a worried Mike asks if they still have ‘a thing’ and gets a rather unconvincing answer.
Unfortunately things go from bad to worse when Penny goes to help with Chris and Allison’s baby and her entire conversation with Stevie (including the ingenious idea to grill Valerie’s wig if Miranda gets desperate) is heard over a badly placed baby monitor. When a crepe suzette falls on his head and a well-meaning Miranda pulls it off along with his toupee, he decides he’s had enough. Miranda snaps and declares that she does not want to be an adult, just to do ‘fun things that make her happy’. A smirking Rose tries to get Gary to admit he made a mistake liking Miranda, but instead he dumps her and she exits to Penny’s take on the EastEnders theme tune. When Valerie tries to leave, Mike refuses to go with him and reveals that he has been confused by ‘grown-up Miranda’ and is in fact in love with the one with the ridiculous sense of humour. A slightly crestfallen Gary watches as they kiss.
Miranda – Miranda Hart
Penny – Patricia Hodge
Stevie – Sarah Hadland
Mike – Bo Poraj
Gary – Tom Ellis
Miranda is on BBC 1 on Mondays at 9pm.